


Sabotage

by RyokoRuby



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Comedy, Drugs, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Inspired by Music, Loki Angst, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Feels, Original Character(s), Poor Loki, Punk, Slow Burn, Smut, plus size OC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-22 10:01:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11965077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyokoRuby/pseuds/RyokoRuby
Summary: Loki's is about to get an EDUCATION when his father's guest turns out to be a rowdy, crust punk, hell bent on making his life a living nightmare. Will they find love before they kill each other?Fluffy drivel, filled with swearing, marijuana and cheap whiskey. Eventual smut? Maybe? ;)Update: Smut alert in Chapter 5 in case you want to skip straight to the good stuff.





	1. With Great Power...

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by my crusty friends in TX, much love.  
> Song referenced is Beastie Boys - Sabotage
> 
>  

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If it sounds to good to be true, it usually is.

“So what’s the catch?” Loki eyed his father wearily. The two gods stood fixed on either side of the deserted hall. The raven haired man crossed his arms, it was out of Odin’s character to try and bargain with his youngest son especially with something as tantalizing as this.

 

“No catch.” The Allfather looked at his son, his pensive stance unreadable. “I want to offer you this unique opportunity to prove your worth as the leader of this realm.”

Loki couldn't believe his ears. His father, of all people, would never offer him this. Moreover The God of Mischief came fully prepared to give his best half-hearted attempt at an apology for his last ill fated prank. 

 

Green eyes flashing “For a week?”

 

“Yes. One week. No more, no less. After that time we will revisit your persistence for the throne.” The King rose and gestured to his seat. “It is yours if you wish it.”

 

Pensive, Loki took slow, surreptitious steps towards the thing he had wanted for so long. His craving for power outweighed any lingering doubts he had about his father’s offer. At last he would take his rightful place on the throne. Those who had doubted him would rue this day.

 

With one last attempt to gauge Odin’s intentions, The God of Mischief seated himself in his new, kingly dominion. The afternoon sun glinted through the window as if bestowing a heavenly crown upon the new Ruler. 

 

“So it is settled. May your reign be just and true.” The Allfather clasped his son's shoulder before turning to leave “I’ll see you in a months time.”

 

Gawking slightly, The green robed god was taken aback. 

“What? Are you just going to leave?” Loki felt a little abandoned as he watched Odin saunter down the stars a little too happily.

 

With a small laugh Odin sang out “Never fear, Loki, I have complete faith in your leadership.” With a wide smile the former King vanished.

 

His moment of glory deflated under the suspicious circumstances. 

“Yes…” Leaning forward, he balanced his elbows on his slender knees fingers laced together. “That’s what worries me.”

 

Week 1:

Much to Loki’s continued surprise no one had yet to tell him he had been part of an elaborate joke. The new leader spent the first 5 hours of his reign pacing the throne room, brow furrowed and suspicious. What had possessed Odin to trust him? Surely the old man knew that he would never hand the Throne back. What was his father's game? He was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

 

As the day continued the Prankster noticed that not only was his father gone, so was his mother and brother. The Palace was empty. Even upon trying to contact his family, there was no response. Although the freedom from prying eyes would have been a joy to him before, Loki found this unsettling, and further proof that something was going on behind the scenes. 

 

At dinner he almost shouted at the first servant to come into the room just out of sheer relief that there was indeed another Asgardian on the planet. His citizens regarded him as King with no protest. Still, The Trickster turned King still slept with one eye open. 

 

Slowly the uneasiness subsided and by the next afternoon Loki was so giddy he almost burst into song when he arrived to the throne room. Almost. The whole kingdom was in his grasp.

 

“His Royal Highness Loki Laufeyson, Acting ruler of Asgard and all those who occupy there in.” The Palace guard announced his arrival. 

 

It took every shred of decorum to not skip down to the throne. His cape hovered just above the floor as he strode towards his prize. The King was ready to begin his rule. Loki smiled, all self satisfaction.

 

“Bring forth the first order of business.” The crowd murmured. Let the tedium begin. 

An ornately overdressed Lord postulated at the foot of the staircase. Loki feigned interest nodding here and there, day dreaming. Everything would change, to do something big and ambitious, he closed his eyes while envisioning his take over. The man at the foot droned on about taxes. 

_‘I can't stand it I know you planned it……’ ___

Loki’s eyes flashed open. What had he just heard? He shifted uneasily to try and identify the source of the sound.  
“...My King?” The Lord paused, looking at the perturbed Ruler. 

 

'It must be nerves' he thought, just hearing things. “Yes please continue.” He shook it off with an uneasy smile and leaned back into the throne. 

 

“As I was saying-”

 

_‘ can't stand rocking when I'm in here Because your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear’ ___

____

No, that was definitely not his drifting imagination. 

" Excuse me.." Loki stood and stormed down the steps, past the shocked Lord. Long strides gave way to a light jog. The gasps of the Noblemen around him began to wear on the frustrated monarch. 

"SILENCE!" 

Ignoring the appalled looks from his subjects, Loki deduced that the source of the sound was not coming from that room. Despite the protests of the court, he crashed through the chambers doors in a green fury. 

_‘So while you sit back and wonder why I got this fucking thorn in my side’ ___

____

Two guards followed behind the disgruntled god. The mystery music gained in volume as Loki turned down the hallway. With dawning horror he realized where the offending lyrics were coming from. With one forceful push, the god entered his bedchamber.

 

_‘Oh my Good, it's a mirage I'm tellin' y'all it's a sabotage’ ___

____

 

The beat of the music pounded in his ears, as his anger subsided into confusion. Standing in a haze of smoke stood an otherworldly girl, a cigar hanging from her pierced lip. Loki motioned to the guards to stay by the door as he trepidatiously circled his bedroom intruder, who had seemed not to notice their presence. Hands outstretched ready to pounce, there was nothing that could have prepared the unfortunate god for what was to befall him. 

 

“Take that bitch!” 

All Loki saw was black as the mystery woman’s fist made contact with his face. 

“Try and sneak up on me? Shit. You wanna die today?” She came into focus as the startled Trickster attempted to regain his composure. He only had enough time to dodge another swinging fist. 

Who in all the galaxies was this mad woman? The new king jumped on his bed to get to higher ground as the flurry of attacks kept coming. 

“Oh you’re quick.” The woman spit out her smoke and while Loki looked in the direction of the embers, he lost sight of her which filled him with a twinge of fear.

“Gotcha!” With a small yelp, the hapless god found himself underneath a woman half his size. He felt her straddle his lower back as she pinned his wrists together with her hands. ‘Thank heavens the guards are outside’ he thought miserably.

 

“Let’s get a look at you before I dispatch your sorry ass.” The defensive woman hefted herself up long enough to flip him like a rag doll, landing heavy on his stomach. He groaned, god he may be the harpy who held him captive was larger than the average Asgardian female.

The anger from before started to boil through him once more. 

Incredulous and gasping he rasped“I don’t know who you think you are dealing with, WENCH, but I am Loki, King of Asgard.” 

 

As she peered down suspiciously he noticed that not only was her lip pierced so were both her nostrils and an eyebrow. Was she some kind of demon?

 

“No shit?” She straightened up and in one leap released the rumpled sovereign. “Uh, sorry ‘bout that shiner. A girl’s got to defend herself, you know. Do you usually creep up on unsuspecting women?” Leaning down, the stranger retrieved her discarded cigar. 

 

_‘So listen up 'cause you can't say nothin' You'll shut me down with a push of your button?  
But I'm out and I'm gone’ ___

____

 

“Would you shut that infernal noise off?” Loki sputtered while lifting himself up off his bed, fingers running haphazardly through his mussed hair. 

Wordlessly, the pierced girl pulled out a small electronic device from her short cut off’s and pushed a button. Blessed silence. 

“You got something against the Beastie Boys, or what?” She grabbed a match from a bag on the floor. 

Loki didn't know this person yet nevertheless was sifting through different forms of torture to inflict upon this hellion. Almost hissing, he menaced towards his prey. 

“Dude, what did I just say about creeping up on people?” Flippantly striking the match against a priceless antique mirror and lighting up her cigar once more.

 

“What did YOU just say?" His voice rising with every step " I could kill you where you stand, you contemptuous shrew! You are in my bed chamber, playing your incontinent music, if you could even call it that, on my first day as ruler supreme. Have you any idea what kind of-” He was interrupted by a piece parchment being thrust upon his nose.

 

“Read it and weep, big boy.” 

 

The blood drained from his face as he read the short letter. The other shoe had finally dropped. 

“My father sent you, did he.” It wasn’t a question. “You are to stay here in the Palace, as my ward...for…” He glanced at the letter hotly “For no stated reason whatsoever.” 

 

Loki inhaled sharply. What kind of test was this? His eyes became slits while he regarded this woman, Puffin. She was scarcely clothed, Her cut offs barely covered her large thighs. A tiny crop top maintained the illusion of modesty while pendulous breasts jiggled free of any kind of bra. In fact the only thing that covered her head to toe were tattoos. 

 

“So I guess this room is taken?” She blew a cloud of smoke in his face.

 

“Yes. Yes it is.” Was his terse reply.

 

“Whatever, I’ll take the room next to this.” 

With a huff the brunette bent to retrieve the bevy of bags at her feet. He struggled to look away as her big behind bounced in the air as he could almost make out the words of a tattoo on her left butt cheek.

 

“I’ll show myself out, don’t worry.” Sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

 

“Uh, yes, don’t get comfortable, harpy, this isn’t finished!” He spat in her direction, while averting his eyes. This is just what he needed. ‘I hope you are having a good laugh father.’ 

 

Puffin stopped at the door and shot him a shit eating grin “The Other White Meat.”

 

“What?!” He looked at her incredulously, arms crossed.

 

“The tat on my ass, just in case you couldn’t read it from there.” With a wink she left the flustered god alone with his thoughts.


	2. ...Comes Misery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki discovers that he is not immune to a certain herb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Chapter two! The song reference is Black Lips - Mr.Driver. Give it a listen.
> 
>  

“My lord? Are you attending court today?” A soft voice cooed through the locked door. 

The New King laid miserably under the thick comforter of his bed. Long, black tendrils of hair fell in his emerald eyes. If only he could stay there for the day.

“I’ll tell them you are feeling ill, sire.” The servant shuffled away. 

‘Yes I’ll just stay here until this nightmare ends.’ 

Loki had spent the rest of yesterday, avoiding his new guest. The letter The Allfather had sent only exacerbated his plight. There was no explanation for why the shrew was there, as far as he could tell she existed to torment him. Almost on cue electric guitar came blaring from the room next door. 

_‘You're in the void, Got you feeling cold, With your voice' Cause it's your choice’ ___

____

The god groaned and attempted to blot out the noise. How could he even hope to usurp his father if this is all it takes to make him stay in bed. Throwing off his blankets, Loki paced his room, contemplating his options.

_‘I've got my poise, And he can bring the noise, With my boys ,Puking in a Rolls-Royce’ ___

____

The drums of the song mimicked the gods own pulse. He could just kill her and….no, that would not work. He needed to gain allies and strengthen his position as Ruler. Just ignoring her might work….

_‘I want to bleed on my squire’ ___

____

Easier said than done, that. 

‘"I suppose I’m only left with trying to reason with her....”

_'Cause I'm vile, Mr. Driver’ ___

____

“The Harpy.” Rolling his eyes he decided taking this particular bull by the horns should be done sooner than later.

With a flourish and more gusto than Loki actually felt, he opened both the doors of his room and marched in Puffin’s direction. 

Knocking loudly “Hello? Puffin? I need to talk to you!” A distinct odor tickled his nostrils. 

 

_‘My pecker's long!It's got me feeling strong, When I sing this song And you smoke this bong’ ___

____

 

“This is ridiculous, I’M COMING IN!” 

Upon bursting through the door, he found the room was filled with pungent thick smoke. Choking on the heady vapor, he further venturing in the den.

“Puffin?!” Loki rubbed his eyes, this noxious smoke was having some kind of effect on his senses. 

 

“Dude! What the Fuck?” He looked for the source of the angry voice. 

“Have you heard of knocking? Christ! I could be naked.” 

The god stopped, realizing his own state of undress, shirtless as he was. 

Clearing his throat “We need to talk, NOW!” Feeling light headed, the half naked man stumbled back and sat on the edge of the bed. This was not going as he had planned. 

 

“OK, ok, Don’t blow your top, chief.” Puffin said from behind him.

Startled, Loki looked back at her. “What are you smoking?” He began to feel tingly.

Smiling, the underwear and tank top attired woman rolled down by her host. 

“I grew it myself.” Puffin held a glass pipe to her lips and lit the contents of fire briefly. “Want some? Might help you chill out.” She exhaled in his face with a chuckle.

 

“I, Um...no, I just came to talk to you about your stay in my Palace.” With every second his mind was fading into numb fuzziness. His body leaned back of it own accord, the comfort of the mattress beneath him too alluring to ignore.

“Ok?” Puffin lifted herself off the bed and began her daily bastardized version of Surya Namaskar in front of the steadily stoned King. 

“Yesterday was not me at my most uh, refined. and since...since, uh,...” He stopped talking, distracted by the fact that his tongue had suddenly grown 4 sizes. “Asth I wasth sthaying…” Blinking hard “NO, stho Sthorry….” Panic took hold of the very faded Loki.

 

Climbing up from her Downward Dog position, a concerned look crossed her pierced face.“Take a deep breath, bro.” The plump woman pulled on a pair of overalls, after sniff checking them. “Damn that contact high got you good”

Loki looked at her cautiously as she lifted his arm over her head. After all she had punched him in the face the night before. 

“Come on, let's get some fresh air.” With feet of lead, he leaned into her as he lost his balance.“Move your damn feet, I can’t carry us both.”

 

For no reason the god erupted into a fit of the giggles. The short woman shook her bed headed mop. “Damn I’m good. Too good.” 

The journey through her room seemed to go on forever. Loki mumbled some nonsense about the meaning of life, Puffin groaned under his weight. 

 

Finally out in the corridor, Puffin arranged Loki against a suit of Armour. She analyzed her handy work, taking particular pride in how she arranged the empty suits arm to embrace the King 

“I’m gonna get you a shirt, you cool?” He nodded absently “Cool.”

 

Why did she always get the weird ones? ‘Yes Puffin, go to Asgard and have a vacation! You’ve earned it!’ Tony’s words echoed in her mind. No one said anything about the Pale and the Bitchy back there. She rifled through a wardrobe of some stuffy smelling cloth. 

“Yuck” 

Looking around, she noticed that other than the bare necessities, his room was barren of any personal items, No pictures or small sentimental tokens. It looked barely lived in. 

Leaving her musings behind, she spied a rumpled shirt by the bed. Perfect. Moving quickly to the hallway, Puffin was ready for some munchies.

“Ok you, lets get some food-” Stopping suddenly, she saw that Loki was not there. She rubbed her red eyes and did a double take.

“The fuck is this?” Looking around frantically, she ran down the corridor. ‘Great, they’re gonna kill me for sure.’ 

First 24 hours in a new world, successfully attacks, drugs and loses their only monarch, it would be a new record for her. 

The sound of footsteps and armored guards made her panic. 

"This is it, They comin' for me!" 

At the last minute she ducked under a decorative stand, it's ornate tapestry served as a table cloth and excellent hiding place. 

“Thank god!” With a sigh, Puffin relaxed enough to sprawl out on the floor as the guards passed the hiding spot.

“Yes?” 

 

Puffin nearly screamed , fist ready to deliver it's killing blow. 

"Loki crept up beside her "Please don't hit me again." 

“The fuck are you doing under here?” relief flooded through her. 

 

“This seemed like a good place to be.” His bare shoulder knocked up against hers “I heard the guards coming and I panicked.” 

Hiding a reluctant smirk she scoffed “They are your guards, you know?” 

 

He didn’t say anything. 

 

After an awkward minute passed she shifted to look at him “Here.” Puffin shoved the shirt in his face. “Let’s get out of here.”

 

“Must we? I quite like it under here.” Loki's glazed over eyes shone in the dim light. 

 

“I’ll make you breakfast, full of greasy meats and buttered breads?.” 

Loki’s grumbling stomach replied for him. 

 

The tattooed woman peeked her head out first, satisfied that the coast was clear, rolled out from the table. Less gracefully, the lankier man inched his way up, only hitting his head once. Wincing, he rubbed his head and dropped the shirt while still on his knees.

“Oh let me, you big baby.” 

“Huh?” 

Puffin rolled her eyes “Raise your arms.” 

Loki submitted as she pulled the light green tunic over his head. The feeling of the soft fabric bringing back a long forgotten memory of his mother and he as a young child. 

“Ok, let’s get the fuck out of here before someone asks why I crawled out from under a goddamn table with their shirtless King !” 

She stomped halfway down the corridor before turning back around.

Loki just grinned. 

“Which way is the kitchen?”

He pointed in the opposite direction. 

“Not a word out of you, mister!” 

 

After another 15 minutes of wandering, the motley two finally made it to one of the dozen or so kitchens in the Palace. Puffin delivered on her promise of meats and bread. She was slightly flattered at how much the munchie fueled god shoveled into his mouth. 

"Don't get used to this, ok? Consider this a bribe for later when you are sober." 

He just looked at her in confusion. 

Puffin found the company of her host much less tedious while he was high. She was even happy to cook for him. 

‘If his mouth is full he can’t talk, at least.’ she mused to herself. 

“Is Puffin your birth name?” 

‘Spoke too soon’ She sighed and finished off her cup of wine.

Loki was looking out of the window, hair unbrushed and messy from the days adventures.

 

“What do you think?” 

“I think you are evasive, rude and malodorous” His retort made her smirk. 

“Touche.” With a hmph, Puffin sat on the edge of the table. “No, it’s not my birth name. I chose my own name.” 

“What a thought.” His green eyed gaze took her in momentarily before returning to the window. “Choosing your name. Do you have a surname, a family name?”

“Nope!” Not liking where this was going, Puffin landed heavy on her bare feet and walked to the door to the outside garden. Pulling on the handle the door wouldn’t budge. 

Her escape thwarted she shouted “Fucking stupid door!” 

Loki stood, smiling wide and walked over to the flustered girl. With one hand he pushed the door open. 

“Oh…” She slinked past before any comment could be made on her mistake.

He didn’t follow after her, contented simply by watching her skamper into the garden. Her short overalls only buckled on one side, wearing the same crop top from the day before, She stuck out like a sore thumb. What was his father even thinking? 

“Dude, seriously, you need to stop creepin’!” Puffin yelled back at him before disappearing behind a bush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no regrets. The idea of a stoned Loki slummin' it under a table just appealed to me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is hell bent on killing Puffin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a bit longer to write this chapter over the holiday weekend. I hop you love it! 
> 
> I live for Kudos!
> 
> Here is a rendering of our favorite hellion.
> 
> [](http://tinypic.com?ref=dw32p)

Puffin was getting antsy. Looking down on some fair haired people milling below, the restless woman sat perched high in her favorite tree in the southern garden. She had been sleeping there for two nights. As expected Loki’s immediate response upon sobriety was an utter rage. 

Nursing the flask of Evan Williams, she pulled a fiery shot ‘Pshh ungrateful bastard! People pay for that kind of high, not my fault he is a FUCKING light weight…’ 

With a sigh, the poncho wearing rapscallion felt the familiar urge to destroy something rising up through her chest. This would not abide Puffin. Two days of hiding should be long enough, right? 

“Fuck it!!!!!” Roaring, she threw down her duffel bag, following soon after, crashing to the ground. 

Ignoring the startled servants Puffin stomped through the courtyard. She cornered a guard. “Hey, you! Is his Royal Highness, or whatever, is he doing court?”

The taken aback man sputtered out “You mean Loki? Uh, yes I believe his Highness is in the throne room for the remainder of the afternoon.” 

With an evil smile, she handed her flask to the armored Asgardian “Perfect! Here, take this, you’ve earned it.” 

In a flash the devious girl was gone, the bewildered man left not quite sure what to make of what had just taken place. He sniffed the contents of the metal container “OH GODS!” and promptly poured it out.

 

The Prince of Mischief and Lies decided that if he ever set eyes on that tempestuous agitator, Puffin, he would kill her. No, he would shove needles under her fingernails, listen to the screams for a couple of hours until he achieved inner peace, then would kill her. Or maybe he would thrust heated iron rods up her backside?

The look on Loki’s face was bleak as he sat on the throne. The courtiers only spoke in hushed whispers, lest the perturbed sovereign should glare in their direction.

It was while he was debating whether he should remove the tongue or eyes first that his thoughts were interrupted. 

“My King, The Lords of the realm have convened, at your leisure, they are ready to receive you.” A trembling servant knelt almost to the floor, avoiding Loki’s poisonous stare. 

Without a word, he stalked down the steps, hands clasped behind his back tightly. This was it, he had no time to worry about the nuisance in his midst. If everything went as planned the Lords would sway in his favor, loaded with any amount bribes or show of power, they would help Loki gain total control of the throne. Of course, this might be expecting too much since he had yet to see Puffin since that day in the kitchen. Indeed she had been quite elusive even for him to find. 

He had woken from his drugged stupor 12 hours later on a bed in the stables. Humiliated Loki made apologies to the horses and sulked to his room. The thought made him growl. The sound caused a maid freeze in terror as he passed in the hallway.

“She will pay.” With a sigh and shake of his groomed mane, he fumed down the corridor.

 

Puffin sauntered down the hallway head buzzed from that morning's whiskey. Having decided that Loki had probably booby trapped her chamber she walked for his room instead. After checking if the coast was clear she broke through the lock and entered the den.

The blinds had been pulled tightly shut, only a sliver of the afternoon sun shone through the dark green fabric. The bed was unmade, an empty bottle of wine stood lonely on the night stand. 

“Guess I wasn’t the only one who needed a drink.” Exhaling the curvy woman splayed across the messy sheets. 

The bed was incredibly soft, much softer than her mattress. It seemed to cling to her tattooed limbs and she began to yawn. The pillow smelled musky like cedar, a smell she reluctantly enjoyed. Two nights sleeping in a tree left Puffin worse for wear, to say the least. Fighting heavy eyelids she focused on her newly forming plan of mischief.

Puffin hated boredom more than sobriety. If Loki thought he had seen the best of her chaotic ways, he had so much more to look forward too. She smiled to herself, grasping at a full bottle of cheap whiskey.The drunk girl sat up as the blueprints of her boredom buster took shape.

Oh...Oh yes. “Muahahahahahahaha!” She laughed maniacally in the emptiness. 

With another swig from the large plastic jug, Puffin stood. He was The God of Mischief, right? She would show him what that really meant. Stumbling over to his oak chest of drawers she fumbled through his clothing. Finding what her drunk brain wanted Puffin turned on her wireless speakers and rampaged out the door. 

By the time Puffin arrived at her destination she couldn’t stop giggling evilly. The two maids she asked for directions was less than generous in their advice, wanting to get away from the drunk stranger as quickly as possible. Her music boomed out around her as she entered the crafting room. Luckily it was empty just filled with looms and various craft tools. Puffin set about her mission.

 

Much to Loki’s happy surprise, his meeting with the Lord's was going better than planned. There were the obvious loyalists to his father, of course, they could easily be dealt with. At this point it was just semantics, dividing up the realm and dispensing the proper bribes. It turns out everyone has a price.

Leaning back into his tall chair he gloated. For the first time in two days, he finally felt he was getting somewhere. His father’s little distraction wasn’t going to derail his grand scheme. After the Lords had been bought or killed all he had to do was take control of the army and basically, Asgard would be his. So filled with satisfaction was he that Loki even started to forget about Puffin. Perhaps she feared his repercussions so much she simply left. Forever hopefully. 

“Your highness, can we get you to sign these?” Lord Ander’s voice broke his happy thoughts.

“Yes, of course.” Loki regarded his newest ally, the unofficial leader of the lower level hierarchy. Keeping this man happy would be key for his coup to succeed.

Indeed, everything was falling into place just as he had planned. 

 

Having successfully crafted her weapon, Puffin exhaled a cloud of smoke. The thick fog hovered over the newly created slingshot. Testing its strength she pulled back the pouch and launched a marble at a cupboard. With a whoosh it made contact, cracking the wood slightly. 

“Oh shit! Damn, I’m good.” Satisfied with her work, she stood, only needing two more items before her plan could commence.

The hallways were oddly empty, making Puffin suspicious. With as much care as her drunk body could muster she stealthily clung to the wall. As far as she knew Loki could just be waiting for her around a corner. Continuing down the corridor and ignoring the odd glances from the guard's Puffin noticed that the throne room was empty. 

“Fuck!” She groaned. Where was he? With no time to think, she hid behind a set of armor as light footsteps approached. 

“Gotcha!” Her tattooed arms grabbed out and caught a redheaded maid.

“By Valhalla!” The thin woman screamed out. Puffin slapped her hand over the frightened woman’s mouth and pulled her into the shadows. 

“Hey hey hey! Calm down. I’m not gonna hurt you, shit.” 

She was expecting that tall fuck but instead scared the living daylights out of a little girl. Still, she might be able to pump her unintended victim for information about Loki’s whereabouts.

“OK, I’m gonna let you go but I need you to answer my questions, you dig?”

The girl nodded silently. She moved her hand still holding onto her arms. 

“Where is Loki? I thought he had court all this afternoon” Puffins whiskey breath spread over the pale woman's face

“Uh...The Prince concluded court early, ma’am. He is holding a meeting with the Lords.” She stuttered out.

Letting go of the woman Puffin sighed with relief. “Sorry about all this...Where is this meeting anyway?” She shot out before the confused maid bolted.

“The conference hall on the North side of the palace.” And with that, the small girl took off running around the corner.

‘Meeting with the Lords, eh? This is going to be more fun than I thought.’ Puffin took another long swig from her jug. Time to the get the ball rolling.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puffin saves the day!

With all the paperwork out of the way, the meeting was turning into a bit of a booze up. Lord Ander made small talk with Loki. He smiled pleasantly while having a mental eye roll.

‘By the gods does this man ever shut up?!’ The green clad king thought. When he was younger he would have turned all their beards orange or filled their goblets with vinegar. The thought of a simple prank like that filled the god with a happy contentment. 

“My king, where is your drink? Is this not a happy occasion?” Ander thrust a large chalice in the raven haired Prince’s hand. 

“Oh my, uh, thank you, Lord Ander. To your health!” Loki frowned into his glass. He was not going to get drunk, not after what happened last time.

“No, To your good health Loki!” Ander’s gulped down his entire glass. 

Loki took a small sip of the beverage. Mead. His least favorite. 

“Come come, you have to set an example for the people, now that you are King.”

With dawning annoyance, Loki realized these stupid men wanted him to chug his drink. Loki had never chugged anything in his life before. That was Thor’s thing. The word alone made his lips pucker distastefully. 

“Of course!” He laughed sourly. The liquid poured down his throat quickly, a small amount dribbled out the sides of his mouth. Powering through his last gulp, Loki found himself somewhat emboldened as he slammed his cup down with a small roar.

The Lords cheered like he had accomplished some great feat. The sweet alcohol rested in Loki’s belly, the warmth of it spreading.

“Another!” A voice shouted out and yet another round was poured out. 

Ander stood on top of the table. “To you, our new King!”

With false bravado, Loki lifted his cup for the cheers, reluctantly sucking down its contents. This was going to be a long night.

To his horror, everyone in the room took turns climbing up on the table cheering him. With every new speech came another obligatory drink. He started to feel that familiar tingle for mischief that he had been trying to stifle. 

Loki was feeling hot, skin boiling under his royal robes. With his swiftly inebriated mind deciding that as King he needn’t wear anything he didn’t want to, threw his robe and top belted vest off into the air. Having found this incredibly funny the surrounding Lords laughed and began to disrobe themselves. 

The servants tried to keep their eyes averted, each red with embarrassment. One unlucky soul was hoisted off her feet as a very drunk Lord Ander began to dance.

With a small smirk, Loki was starting to feel less bored. In fact, he was feeling something like mirth. The scene unfolding in front of him was beginning to become debaucherous. Half naked dignitaries spilled drinks and groped horrified maids. Something was starting to grow deep in his stomach. With a glint in his eye, Loki zeroed in on a red headed servant who had just entered the room.

"Your highness!" She squeaked out as he cornered the breathless girl. "Something very odd has happened, I must tell you." 

"Oh? really my little pet. What is your name?" The flash of his white teeth made her gulp hard. Loki towered overhead, the way he stared made her blush. 

"M-Maddi, sir." the red head stuttered as the god leaned down fingering a loose curl.

"My, my, how come I have never seen you before?" 

"I'm new but your highness, I really must tell you what just happened to me." Maddi slid to the side attempting to escape.

Her squirming only made him want to play even more, already planning the things he would do to this young girl "And what is it you must tell me, little Maddi?"

The cries of Ander's unwilling dance partner cut through the air as the drunk man's advances became too amorous. Irritated Loki looked over his shoulder at the interruption. Things were getting out of control fast.

"There is crazy woman roaming the halls, your highness! She is looking for you." 

Green eyes snapped back to the maid. No.

"She grabbed me asked me where you were...and I...I told her. I thought she was going to hurt me." With fearful tears, the overwhelmed girl turned to go. 

"What did you just say?" Loki grabbed her shoulder tightly, tone no longer pleasant.

"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry!"Screaming in terror, the girl's body crumpled against his strength.

No! Not now. He was lured into false security, his mind altered by alcohol. What a fool he had been. Looking down at the scared red head, with a huff he let go. He would deal with her later, right now Loki had to figure out where and what Puffin was up to.

"Let him go FUCK FACE!" It turned out he needn't wait long to find out. 

There Puffin stood, a demonic haze enveloped her sturdy body. On her feet were black roller skates, knees, and elbows protected with spiked pads. Her generous hips encircled with studded belts and straps housed dubious pouches. To Loki's long suffering enmity, the crusty wench wore his finest armored jacket. 

"I said let her go, you dumb shit!" She was looking directly at Lord Ander. The room grew quiet. "Or else."

The drunk Lord looked confused. The servant he had pinned to the table could be heard crying softly. "Excuse me?"

Loki stood frozen knowing full well this wasn't going to end well yet the Mischief maker in him wanted to see what would happen. 

Ander laughed, lifting off the disheveled boy underneath him "Who are you to tell me anything?" The lords around him giggled nervously.

"A filthy Midgardian by the smell!" An anonymous voice shot out.

"and what a fat cow she is. How dreadful she looks." came another.

"I won't tell you again, fucker." Her eyes narrowed. She didn't give a shit what people said about her but it made her blood boil to see someone being abused.

Losing patience Ander pointed at her "Such insolence will not be tolerated. After tonight I own half the realm. I'll teac-!"

With a sickening crack, Puffin loosed a marble from the slingshot, right in the intolerable man's jaw. He howled, falling to the floor.

"That's right motherfucker!" She skated quick as lightening, scooping the boy up and deposited him by the door. 

"Now, who's next?" With a push of a button, a pounding beat sliced the silence.

_Y'all gon' make me lose my mind, Up in here, up in here ___

__The room erupted into indignant roars. Ander wailed pitifully on the floor, jaw potentially chipped. Loki couldn't believe it. He had wanted to do something similar to the unbearable man all evening. The wheeled woman zoomed around the drunk Asgardians, moving with surprising grace._ _

__At one point she bulldozed right through a huddle of the men, flipping one over. With dazzling speed, she dealt out harrowing marble missiles. The previously imprisoned servants and maids ran to the door. They had never seen anything like it. That chubby, crazy Midgard was serving up a serious helping of whoop ass._ _

___Y'all gon' make me go all out, Up in here, up in here ____ _

____Loki stood back against the wall looking at the beautiful disaster. Puffin had started hurling lit fire crackers in every direction, the look of pure joy spread wide on her face. Folding his arms, He tried to ignore how his heart beat just a tiny bit faster._ _ _ _

_____Y'all gon' make me act a FOOL, Up in here, up in here ____ _ _ _

______One of the less drunk Lords threw a punch, landing heavy on Puffin's back. It glanced off the tactical jacket, serving its purpose perfectly. Unfortuneatlyher ankles were not so lucky. Having been distracted while sticking her tongue out, the Terror tripped and fell flat on her face right in front of the amused Loki._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Fuck that hurt." The deflated Puffin struggled to stand._ _ _ _ _ _

______Ander having recovered enough to stand, grabbed her by the neck. He had murder in his eyes, his swollen jaw began to bruise._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Lay off old man!" She tried to free herself but several other injured Lords pinned her arms. She was so screwed._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I'm going to make you pay for this, with your blood."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Puffin just spat in his face. Ander brought his hand up, ready to strike."I'm going to enjoy this, Midgard."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"HALT!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Much to everyone's surprise, Loki strode to the captured girl. She looked up at him with confusion._ _ _ _ _ _

______"But- Loki, er, Your majesty. This cannot stand!" The bruised Lords agreed._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Indeed and it shall not stand." The pale man leaned into Anders' face._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Well good..."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Loki looked down at the frowning trouble maker. "However I shall deal with it...by myself."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"But Loki.."The disgruntled Lord defied._ _ _ _ _ _

______"That is 'Your Highness' Lord Ander." The green god shot daggers with his glare._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yes...well we shall see for how long. Deal with this and maybe we can continue with our agreement." He threatened while he let go of Puffin's neck._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Everyone leave, NOW!" Loki boomed at the belligerent men, eyes fiery._ _ _ _ _ _

______With huffs and grumbles, the room finally emptied. Loki made sure to lock the door behind them. Puffin was sore and weary, she didn't trust this guy, not one bit. His white shirt untucked, tight black pants left little to the imagination, she bore holes into him with her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Now what ever shall I do with you?"_ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg guys...I feel some smut coming on! I really tried to not make it that way but it's in my blood. Stay tuned.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Loki to lay down some punishment!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't stay away...I need the smut.

Loki stood by the door mulling over his next course of action. In all truth his outburst earlier was unplanned. He should have just let them do what they wanted with the harpy, she deserved it absolutely. However something about seeing that fool Ander about to strike made him speak up. The feeling that welled up in him at that moment was troublesome. It’s not as if he had any moral or rational reason. He just did it. 

Puffin sat on the floor several feet behind him, pulling a shot from her flask. If she was going to die she sure as hell wouldn’t be sober. She conceded that the usually angry god only saved her from the rabble only to deliver an even worse punishment himself. Judging by his demeanor is was going to be kinky.

‘Sick fuck.’ She was reluctantly thankful.

Turning around slowly, the casually dressed god took deliberate steps towards the headstrong trouble maker. Her antics gave him deviant thoughts of his own. Loki stopped 2 feet away, fingers laced behind his back.

“So what do you think I should do?” His voice dripped with condescension. 

With a nervous giggle “Well you could just let me go and chalk this up to another harmless drunk antic from your old’ pal Puffin?” 

With a tsk Loki crouched down on his haunches, tight leather pants strained against his knees. ”I’ve been looking for you. Now with this, no my dear, You will have to be punished.” 

Puffin took another large swig of the burning liquor. The way he said ‘punished’ ignited a small fire deep within her. His closeness unnerved her more than the threats. That musky cedar scent filled her nostrils, making her pulse race. 

“Speechless? For the first time, by Valhalla what a change.” She glared at him. 

“Stand up.” 

Looking at the floor by his feet, Puffin stood begrudgingly. ‘Here it comes’

“Take the jacket off, please.” 

Something about his stare both frightened and excited her. While pulling the heavy jacket off, those green eyes seemed to look through her. Without the protective coat, only a skimpy crop top covered her hardening nipples. Loki felt the intense urge to pinch them ruthlessly. 

“So, what are you gonna do, Boss? I don’t have all night!” Crossing her arms to cover herself, Puffin tried to play off the rhythmic throb coming from her nether regions.

“Neither do I.” Loki stood, towering a good foot and a half above the defiant woman. 

“You interrupted me earlier. I was having a splendid time getting to know a trim little thing, fair with red curls.” He circled around “The innocence oozed out of her.” 

Loki put both his hands on her shoulders, his lower half hovering mere inches above Puffin’s bare midriff. The heat between them tangible. 

“Hey...What are you doin, Loki? If you're gonna beat me, just do it. I'm ready….”A long finger ran up her neck. The touch sending shivers of electricity with it. 

“Now from what I know of your disruptive behavior, I think a beating really wouldn’t do anything, don’t you?”

“I might surprise you…” Long finger danced across Puffins throat, clasping her neck lightly.

Laughing, Loki leaned down, his black hair grazed her bare shoulder. “Oh really? OK, let's play a little game, You run, I chase.” 

“ A game?”

He let go, moving away from his prisoner. “I’ll even give you a head start.”

The idea enticing, far better than the alternative beating. She took off towards the large chamber doors. Body aching, she cursed its betrayal. 

‘What’s wrong with you Puff? That guy wants to kill you’

Almost to the door, Puffin felt her body being slammed against the wooden entrance. Loki’s hard body affixed her there. Angry passion ran through her blood.

“Fuck you!” She squirreled one hand free, slapping the god in the face. He snarled at the contact. Puffin straddled his waist, using the leverage to swivel and slam him hard against the door. He groaned out, fighting for control of her flailing arms. Puffin’s resistance aroused him further. Finally, Loki gripped both her wrists forcefully. 

“I should kill such a troublesome little wench.” Rasping, the god turned around once more, pinning her arms up above her head with one hand while the other wrapped snugly around her exposed neck.

The contact sent waves of pleasure through the detained woman. She felt a poking hardness where their bodies connected.

“Then get on with it, BITCH. I’ve been fucking waiting.” Puffin strained her face closer, almost touching his. “Do it.”

Her continued defiance forced his hand. “With Pleasure, harpy.”

Loki crashed his lips against the captives. Puffin responded in kind, greedily sucking his mouth. His grip on her neck tightening, the pressure filled her with adrenaline. Unconsciously the god began to dig his bulge into her flesh. With a ragged breath, Loki pulled away. Puffin held his bottom lip hostage in her teeth, just a little too sharply.

With an impish grin, she dug her heels into his tender sides, the pain causing him to release her. Sliding swiftly over his body the short woman hefted Loki backward. Puffin played dirty.

He felt himself falling, the girl looked down at him with an evil smile. The sight of the flushed, helpless God drove her crazy.

“Let me help you with this.” With one long rip, Loki’s shirt was torn open, revealing his ivory chest. 

“That’s better.” Her initiative impressed him. She behaved like a wild animal, unpredictable and dangerous. 

“And you my darling.?” With one hand he brought her down.

She Toppled on top of his bare belly. 

Loki felt himself harden even more, her hands groped along his collarbone followed by hungry kisses. She could feel herself getting wet as her juices leaked through the booty shorts. Puffin must mark him as her own, she bit his shoulder, breaking the skin. The wicked girl laughed at his pained face, crawling off him on all fours. 

“Come and get me, bitch!” Wiggling her ass, she looked back at him.

“Oh no, you don’t.” No woman had ever dared to nibble on him, let alone bite. 

She yelled out while being dragged back by her ankles. The loss of control made her clit throb. With one hard yank on her generous hips, Loki forced them to collide hard on his crotch. They both moaned.

“You move your dead.” 

It took seconds for him to open his pants. Puffin felt his warm cock on her ass. With one last attempt to escape she moved forward. 

“What did I just say?” He grabbed a handful of her hair, pulling her scanty shorts to the side. 

Dripping out on the floor, Puffin maneuvered his long shaft to her crack.

“You really are a dirty slut.” Loki held his cock against her cunt, teasing the entrance. She was so incredibly wet, her lust multiplying his own.

“ Stop teasing me.” She smiled and side eyed him. “Fuck this dirty slut already.”

Using her hair as an anchor, Loki sunk his dick deep in her folds. He dug into her depths, grazing her cervix. With small, slow thrusts he teased the large nub causing Puffin to curse. Moving on their own, the woman moved her hips back and forth on his length. 

Loki enjoyed the sight of this deviant riding his hard cock all on her own. 

“You must really want this.” All at once he pounded in and out, mercilessly beating her pussy into submission. It felt so fucking good to destroy her from the inside. 

She gasped “Oh fuck! Yes….god yes…”

Using both hands he gripped her hips, slamming her even further on his dick. Head unrestricted, Puffin looked behind her, staring the god in the eyes before taking one hand to play with her swollen clit. 

“Don’t stop.” She was so close already. “Give it to me…”

He could feel her velvet insides pushing on him. With a loud scream, he felt warm liquid gushing out around the base of his cock and thighs as she orgasmed. 

In one swift move, he pulled out and forced the blissed out Puffin on her knees. Standing, Loki pushed his sloppy member in her unsuspecting mouth. Before she could escape, he clamped his arms around her head as he pumped hot sperm down her throat. 

With breathy moans, the god finished. Standing back, his sensitive cock slipped out of the red faced woman. There was a long moment of silence as the two refused to look at each other. 

“So……” Puffin stood, wiping the remnants of the impromptu face fucking of her mouth.

“Er...Um yes...well..” 

“Your Highness?!” A loud voice shouted through the door. “Are you in there?”

Saved by the bell. “Yes I’m here, I’m coming out.”

Loki looked at her momentarily, a blush forming on his high cheeks, before zipping up. Without a word he walked to the door and left.

Downing the rest of her flask Puffin burped “Well that was nice.”

**Author's Note:**

> I want to be Puffin when I grow up. I live for Kudos and comments! Much love.


End file.
